Christians Have Bad Sex – They Finally Admit It

sexy-nun-and-priestI almost died laughing when I read this article on CNN. Of course, had I died then I would have missed all of the awesome comments that have been pouring in since this was written, so I kept myself alive by snickering loudly then running to the kitchen for a cold one.

I want to start out by repeating the opening line to this article:

“Christian marriage.

Hot sex.

Let’s try that again:

Christian marriage; hot sex.

It doesn’t quite go together does it?”

I love snarky writers.

It seems a fine upstanding Christian finally decided to tempt the lions and discuss something which Catholics and Baptists have known for years: that you can’t be a good Christian and have fun in the sack. Notice I left the Protestants and miscellaneous Christian religions out? Well Protestants, for one, recognize homosexuality as a way of life, not a choice. And the Mormons? Well bigamy translates into somebody getting a helluva lot of tail, therefore I’m going to give them points for creativity. So, back to the nuts who promote abstinence instead of safe sex and guilt before pleasure, really? Who thought either of these were good ideas? I have my theories. Perhaps the whole abstinence before marriage thing has been one giant conspiracy designed to control population growth? I’d have bought that 50 years ago, before the birth control pill, and Energizer batteries. Or maybe it is just one long hold-over from a time when government (i.e. the church) had to maintain crowd control and in so doing took all the fun out of bonking like rabbits. That’s my guess, anyway. Religious fanatics have a hard time with change and 50 years is such a short period of time in the grand scheme of things hell, it took 200 years to fight the Crusades. Which means the concept of sexual liberation in Christianity is probably going to take at least another 150 years. Ah, just one more reason to avoid religious dogmatism altogether.

So in parting, I want to remind all of you freethinkers out there that you have yet another right the religious robots don’t; to have free, wild, unrestrained intercourse (social and otherwise) and I do hope that you will go forth and practice both passionately!

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